September 15 (Tuesday)

Rapid Write:
Describe the first time you did something. Work in as many of the five senses as possible.

Handed out a second copy of the Focused Peer Review. The first copy (from last time) should be filled out by classmates. The second copy should be filled out by "outsiders."

Handed out contest information.

Grammar and Lesson: Active vs. Passive -- Show, Don't Tell
Passive sentences come in two forms.

The first, which is often seen in scientific or "official" documents, take the object of a sentence and turn it into the object. This makes the actual do-er of the sentence vague. For example: "Mistakes were made." This is passive. "I made a mistakes" or "We made mistakes" are active.

The type of passive sentence that creative writers tend to combat more regularly are the sentences that rely on linking verbs, which are very weak. Using these verbs too regularly will result in boring writing, in which your reader is passive, since he is simply being told these things. Take the following sentences as an example:

• I was tired.
• They are best friends.
• I am performing tonight.
• This is a busy day!
• Those two were late to class.

These sentences all use the common linking verbs, which I like to refer to as the "telling verbs." These are all forms of "be."

Am, Is, Are, Was, Were, Be, Being, Been

As a creative writer, these should be the drunk uncle of your sentences. Sometimes it's necessary to invite the guy, but we try to limit his appearances to Christmas and Easter. When you use these, you simply tell your reader a fact, you don't show anything. Readers like to be involved, so let them.

• I was tired. ---> I fought the urge to fall asleep.
• They are best friends. ---> I don't think anyone has ever seen them apart.
• I am performing tonight. ---> Tonight, I perform!
• This is a busy day. ---> Will I ever get everything done?
• Those two were late to class. ---> They walked into class a minute after the tardy bell.

See how the active sentences are better? They have more life, and they paint a picture. They show.

This is a rule of thumb that will help you to avoid writing in passive voice most of the time. It isn't fool-proof, but unless you're planning a career in linguistics, the rest is really just science.

Writing time:
Revise what you have so far. Get rid of as many "telling verbs" as possible.
Seek out any classmates for what you need to finish on your focused peer review.